Our Inspiration
A Need For Autism Family Friendly Business Training
When you have Autism in the family, it’s not all fun and games. No matter where your loved one is on the ASD spectrum, that can be especially true when it’s time for an outing. My family has learned this lesson many times over.
Our sweet Zackary was diagnosed with severe Autism at the age of 2. It was a major adjustment for my husband and me, as well as for Zack’s twin brother, Luke, and older brother, Josh. While feelings of devastation are absolutely normal and acceptable when you hear this diagnosis, it wasn’t what we experienced. We quickly shifted from, “oh no!” to “how can we help?”.
Still, our family – like many others – has had to leave or forego many events and experiences because of Zackary’s Autism. Now, at the age of 6, Zack’s behaviors are much more manageable, and his intelligence and sweetness help to show the world that Autism is not a tragedy.
Autism brings out Zack’s creativity with music and his love for learning to read in multiple languages. In a word, he is amazing! His smile makes those around him smile. He has communication skills, but his language is more functional than expressive. And he is gentle and loving in all circumstances. That’s not to say he doesn’t have his meltdowns, but as a family we have found many tools to help him when they do occur.
Even though we know he’s amazing, that doesn’t mean everyone can see it. Once when I needed to drop off a tire to be patched, I needed to stop off on my way to take Zack to Therapy, knowing my husband would pick up the tire later and put it back on his car himself. I called the tire place ahead of time and explained that I was going to need someone from the shop to help me haul the tire out of my trunk. I added that my son couldn't stand in line to wait very long because of his Autism. They assured me it would all be fine. It wasn’t.
I arrived at the shop, and Zack and I walked in. It was pretty packed, and there was a line about 5 people deep. In between customers, I asked for the gentleman I talked to on the phone. Apparently he had gone home for the day. I explained my situation again, with the entire waiting room staring at us. It didn’t help that Zack was jumping up and down, making high-pitched noises. I’m pretty sure he was playing out an episode of Sunny Bunnies in his head while we stood there.
The gentleman working at the counter simply told me he couldn’t help me until it was my turn. I stood in line with Zack for nearly 20 minutes. I tried my best to keep him entertained, but no amount of spaghetti arms was going to work that long. Zack started bunny hopping around the waiting room, ignoring people’s personal space.
I was out of strategies so I scooped him up and asked if I could just haul the tire in myself. He said, “No. Not until it’s your turn.” I apologized and again explained that Zack couldn’t wait any longer because of his Autism. He told me to come back another time. I left in tears. I cried all the way to the therapist’s office. After I dropped him off, I had to go back to the repair shop because my husband was stuck until we patched that tire. All I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and cry.
I gave myself a pep talk and headed back. In that short span of time, I had managed to convince myself that I had overreacted. As I parked my car, I felt only the shame of embarrassment. That’s when it happened. This absolute angel of a woman approached me. I remembered her from earlier, because I had complimented her cute sandals. She came over so quickly I didn’t have time to think of what she might say. To my surprise, it was just what I needed to hear.
She looked me confidently in the eye and said sternly, “On behalf of everyone inside that shop, I want to apologize for how the manager treated you and your son. I have a 16-year-old with Autism and I want you to know it will get easier. Keep bringing him out because he’s not the one with the problem. People who refuse to understand are the problem. You called ahead to deal with his special needs and they agreed to help. There’s no excuse for what happened.”
“Thank you so much for saying that,” was all I could muster in response. I was so surprised by her words, but this lovely woman showed me that difficult situations like this aren’t my fault or Zack’s fault at all. Helping others to better understand Autism is really the key.
And she sparked the idea for Autism Family Friendly Business Consultants. That’s why we are here. We want to help build a more understanding and supportive environment for our loved ones with Autism and the larger ASD community.
Now we want to hear your stories – the good, the bad and the ugly.
Our sweet Zackary was diagnosed with severe Autism at the age of 2. It was a major adjustment for my husband and me, as well as for Zack’s twin brother, Luke, and older brother, Josh. While feelings of devastation are absolutely normal and acceptable when you hear this diagnosis, it wasn’t what we experienced. We quickly shifted from, “oh no!” to “how can we help?”.
Still, our family – like many others – has had to leave or forego many events and experiences because of Zackary’s Autism. Now, at the age of 6, Zack’s behaviors are much more manageable, and his intelligence and sweetness help to show the world that Autism is not a tragedy.
Autism brings out Zack’s creativity with music and his love for learning to read in multiple languages. In a word, he is amazing! His smile makes those around him smile. He has communication skills, but his language is more functional than expressive. And he is gentle and loving in all circumstances. That’s not to say he doesn’t have his meltdowns, but as a family we have found many tools to help him when they do occur.
Even though we know he’s amazing, that doesn’t mean everyone can see it. Once when I needed to drop off a tire to be patched, I needed to stop off on my way to take Zack to Therapy, knowing my husband would pick up the tire later and put it back on his car himself. I called the tire place ahead of time and explained that I was going to need someone from the shop to help me haul the tire out of my trunk. I added that my son couldn't stand in line to wait very long because of his Autism. They assured me it would all be fine. It wasn’t.
I arrived at the shop, and Zack and I walked in. It was pretty packed, and there was a line about 5 people deep. In between customers, I asked for the gentleman I talked to on the phone. Apparently he had gone home for the day. I explained my situation again, with the entire waiting room staring at us. It didn’t help that Zack was jumping up and down, making high-pitched noises. I’m pretty sure he was playing out an episode of Sunny Bunnies in his head while we stood there.
The gentleman working at the counter simply told me he couldn’t help me until it was my turn. I stood in line with Zack for nearly 20 minutes. I tried my best to keep him entertained, but no amount of spaghetti arms was going to work that long. Zack started bunny hopping around the waiting room, ignoring people’s personal space.
I was out of strategies so I scooped him up and asked if I could just haul the tire in myself. He said, “No. Not until it’s your turn.” I apologized and again explained that Zack couldn’t wait any longer because of his Autism. He told me to come back another time. I left in tears. I cried all the way to the therapist’s office. After I dropped him off, I had to go back to the repair shop because my husband was stuck until we patched that tire. All I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and cry.
I gave myself a pep talk and headed back. In that short span of time, I had managed to convince myself that I had overreacted. As I parked my car, I felt only the shame of embarrassment. That’s when it happened. This absolute angel of a woman approached me. I remembered her from earlier, because I had complimented her cute sandals. She came over so quickly I didn’t have time to think of what she might say. To my surprise, it was just what I needed to hear.
She looked me confidently in the eye and said sternly, “On behalf of everyone inside that shop, I want to apologize for how the manager treated you and your son. I have a 16-year-old with Autism and I want you to know it will get easier. Keep bringing him out because he’s not the one with the problem. People who refuse to understand are the problem. You called ahead to deal with his special needs and they agreed to help. There’s no excuse for what happened.”
“Thank you so much for saying that,” was all I could muster in response. I was so surprised by her words, but this lovely woman showed me that difficult situations like this aren’t my fault or Zack’s fault at all. Helping others to better understand Autism is really the key.
And she sparked the idea for Autism Family Friendly Business Consultants. That’s why we are here. We want to help build a more understanding and supportive environment for our loved ones with Autism and the larger ASD community.
Now we want to hear your stories – the good, the bad and the ugly.